I am …this close… to being addicted to Sims 2. Yeah, I got the PC version of the game for Christmas. I’m really digging Sims 2 because it has so many more features than the previous version. And I haven’t even begun to look online for add ons. Let’s see, today my main character turned into a lesbian, became a specialist on a team of surgeons, had a boring birthday party and became an elderly. Oh and her lesbian lover and some other woman moved in. If only there were an X-Rated Sims… well damn nevermind… cause I probablly would never leave the computer.

Speaking of playing games and such… do you ever feel that you are too old to be playing video games? This never really came to mind until I had children. It just feels funny to see myself playing Sims on the laptop, JT playing Knights of the Republic II on XBox and Keisha and William laying at our sides sleep. Is that wrong? LOL… Well you know what, the even funnier thing is that when they are older, I’m sure I will be playing video games with them!! Leave it to JT and I to teach them the old school ways of Pong, Donkey Kong and Ms. Pac Man.

I had a lovely first Christmas with the twins and my family. JT and I bought William and Keisha a lot of clothes… they have now reached the next size bracket of 3 to 6 month old. There was no sense in getting them toys this year and thankfully everyone followed my request of no toys. Next Christmas, we shall focus a little more on toys, but I imagined them playing more with the wrapping paper and boxes more than the toys. In addition to clothes, the twins received two new bouncers, two Fisher Price crib aquariums and two beautiful Christmas ornaments (a silver bell for Keisha and a toy horse for William). This was the first Christmas in a long time that I wasn’t able to get my family the presents that I wanted to. I was (and still am) depressed about that. They have (tried) to reassure me that the twins are the best presents that I could have ever gave. I think deep, deep, deep down I do know this.

For the past week or so, the twins and I have been battling a cold. I hate to hear them cough… I feel so helpless. I’ve been doped up on Nyquil here and there. Nyquil capsules are the greatest, but when I don’t get the sleep then the medicine is really no help at all. Thankfully, I was able to sleep in today and get a great deal of much needed rest. Keisha and William are also almost over their colds.

In regards to my depression, I’m still having my ups and downs. Some days I can without crying, feeling overwhelmed or sad for no reason. Other days everything seems to come tumbling down on me. Even at this moment, I’m feeling a bit down. I have felt lethargic most of the evening, but I think the Nyquil had something to do with that. Sometimes, I know what I’m sad about but other times I sulk for no particular reason. At this time, I’m not convinced that medicine is the right or rather only answer. Doctors are often too quick to turn to a bottle of pills for resolution. I want to take a holistic approach to my condition.

I need a vacation or something.

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