Thanks for all the lovely comments on my pictures *muah*

My Mom thought she was slick by sticking in some information on the slide in our conversation just now. She decided to let me know that she might start dating this guy. I just did not have the strength to say what I really want to say. I am giving my Mom credit for respecting me enough for sharing even just a tad bit of information. She knows that I am inquisitive as hell and I would basically dig the information up somehow regardless. But tell me how you might start dating someone? I am not stupid. Mama know she dating that man already. You do not “might date someone”!! I do not like being treated like I am dumb or a little girl… With anyone else I would have stepped up and had to regulate. But dang homie, this was Mama. So after my eyes twitched and my head throbbed a couple of times, I took a breath and responded, “oooh ok” and left it at that as far as the conversation was concerned.

On the other hand, if you know me then you know that I think too damn much. I over analyze a lot of shit in my life, big stuff and small. I got to thinking about how my Mom deserves a good man in her life. The man that she “might date,” he is an okay kind of guy but… but… but Mama deserves more than that!! I can imagine that if I was dating a younger version of him, Mama just might frown at me… but she would take a step back and realize that this is my life. So I must do that for my mother. I have to swallow my harsh words and realize that this is my Mama’s life. She is a grown woman who has needs and desires like other grown women. In the back of my mind, her eldest child still wants the best for her. Mama deserves it.

I just hope she does not ask for my opinion on this might date situation. I am simply going to have to tell the truth. I will have to take two deep breaths and mute the phone while I scream, then come back to the phone and calmly say, “Mama, I think there are better guys out there,” or “How far is this might dating thing going to go… do you REALLY like him?” Then again, I really do not see Mama asking me that question because she already knows the answer.

I am twenty five years old and I still have this false utopia view of my Mama and Daddy together. I do not think that it will ever go away… ok that is too extreme… well the feeling is not going away any time soon!! How selfish of me huh? I wondered if it is different when you get older. Do you start settling for less, or is she “might dating” the kind of guy that she always liked and/or wanted? I wonder what Daddy is doing in Colorado… I wonder if he is dating…

Ugh Ugh Ugh!! I had planned on writing about something else, until Mama called and told me that. My silence pretty much killed the conversation too… I sat there all catatonic, with an occasional mmmhmm… yeah. Then Mama ended the conversation, we exchanged “I love yous” and that was it.

So she “might be dating him”…

*sigh*

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