I have been wanting to write a particular post for about 4 weeks now, but I could not get the words together. Instead of trying to compose an elaborate piece in an attempt express my mixed feelings, I will just keep it simple…

Today my family had a memorial service at Jefferson Barracks for my grandmother. She passed away at the end of October. Three years ago, Grandma had breast cancer and survived, but cancer came back this July as brain and lung cancer. Surgery was not an option.

Her funeral was held in Colorado, but unfortunately I was not able to attend. My grandmother’s ashes will be buried in the plot with my grandfather and my aunt Kay (who passed away from complications from sickle cell disease about twenty years ago). My grandparents and Kay will receive a new headstone soon.

The memorial service was not quite what I expected. The only thing that I got out of it is that it confirms how weird, selfish and crazy my family can be.

There were no flowers and none of her children spoke a word about their mom. I did not expect a grand event, but how about at least a plant and a couple of words about the woman who gave birth to you, loved you and cared for you.

JT and my mom were very supportive of me today. Thank you for the support. That is what family is for.

I wonder what grandma would think about all of this.

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