Step Into the Nexus · Stimulation is the Goal

Do you ever go into a situation where you know up front that you should not be doing what you are about to do? Something is on your mind, you are not dwelling on it but nevertheless it is on your mind. You think about not saying anything about it but you go ahead and say something anyway.

I should have kept my damn mouth shut and maybe just maybe I would getting sleep that I really need right now instead of trying to vent on my blog to release some tension.  I could have said something in the morning about it, but no that would probably lead to bitter feelings and maybe an argument on the way to work.  I could have said something about it a few days from now and he would question why I have been dwelling on it for so many days.  No, instead I had to say what is on my mind tonight.  What really sucks in the relationship right now is feeling like getting punished for saying what is on my mind.  I am tired of it.  Old shit really.

Then the snowball effect seems to come in play and feelings about everything else wrong in the relationship come about.  I am trying folks, I really am.  I feel like your goal is to make me feel as bad as you do… or worse?  How does this really solve anything?   I feel it does nothing more than create resentment, widen our communication gap and emotionally drive us apart.

Why do you do what you do?

Yeah yeah, tomorrow is a new day but that does not stop me from feeling like ultimate crap right now. Just what you wanted though.

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

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