For about four years, I have been an extreme pessimist when it comes to making New Year Resolutions. I decided to only set personal goals for myself instead of resolutions. Some goals are short-term (days, weeks and months) and others are long-term (months and years).

I will not make any New Years Resolutions for 2008 nor any other year.

Last years resolution was to go to the gym regularly and lose weight. I failed miserably and felt really bad about it. No more.

Now, I figure that if it happens, it will happen when I am ready for it to happen. Just like the new job. Previous years, I did a whole lot of talking about getting a new job, but no action. In July, I became determined and focused to search for a new job. My current (and soon to be ex-job on January 4, 2008) position is hell. I put a lot of hours into working on my KSAs (Knowledge, Skills and Abilities for the resume impaired) for a new position. I wanted to make sure that another agency would look at my paperwork and say, damn this is good. I want her on our team.

I do not know why, but for some reason when people find out that you got a new job, a common question is: How did you get that job? Or how did you do it? When you first hear that question, you just want to give that person a blank stare, what do you mean exactly? I am not quite sure of what they want to hear. That I slept with the manager and got an interview the next day? I stole your friend’s resume and put my name on it? Well no, I did not do that.

Do you ever feel like you are living an episode of the Twilight Zone?

Work was tolerable. I am still in training, so that is by default better than the normal daily duties. On the other hand, training itself was completely exhausting today. I struggled staying focus this afternoon. No word on if eating left over Red Lobster during lunch factored in on my ability to stay focused.

This evening was crazy. I feel like I was the only sane one of the bunch… meanwhile JT, William and Keisha were acting like very weird. More weird than normal.

After it was all said and done, I was able to find out the cause of what brought me into the Zone. Be that as it may, only time will tell if there is resolution.

In other news, I hear that the Administration (code for Bush) will let us off on Christmas Eve. Political move or not, I am thankful for this decision. Since I am in training, I do not have access to my work email, so I did not see the actual memorandum. I picked up the information from a reliable source though, so I feel pretty confident that this is true.

Local meteorologists predicted bad weather heading our way. Does not appear that enough will come tonight to be called off from work tomorrow. Ugh.

Last but not least, JT told me that one of his cousins and her boyfriend were in an accident today. A truck hit them. All I know is that she (cousin) is not hurt, but her boyfriend was seriously injured. I do not know if he is critical or stable condition. I also know that her baby was not in the car. Thank goodness for that. I do not know any other details. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

Do you ever have so much going on in your personal and work life that when you sit down and try to blog… nothing clearly comes to mind?

My thoughts have been a bit cluttered over the last week.

Crap at work. There is nothing really knew in itself about that, but it continues to bother me. I have made a decision to stick things out the term is up next fall or I move on to better things. If I resign now then there is no positive outcome from this. Not resign from my job, but resign from my other elected duties.

Stuff at home. Working on better communication has been an on-going effort for a large part of our relationship. I definitely think things are better for us now, than this time 3 years ago… and even a year and a half ago. Still feels like an uphill journey… a journey that I am willing to continue.

Finances. Well, shit not much to say there. I believe that JT and I have the same long-term goals. Just a struggle getting there. The holiday season brings us all together, but definitely puts a strain on the wallets. We need to continue to cutback on unnecessary expenses. For example, JT mentioned us considering Vonage where the plan is $24.95 a month. Sounds fine and dandy until I need to figure out what to do with our existing Charter plan which includes not only phone, but also internet and cable television. Perhaps Charter has a reasonable plan with only cable television and high-speed internet.

Me. I am a complicated individual. JT told me the other day that my goal is to not be understood. I really do not agree, but it did make me sit back and ponder about why he feels that way. I have not come to any conclusions.

Well, I started this post being a little speechless, but it turned out that I had more to say than I thought.

1. Have you ever met a fellow blogger in person?

No I have not, but there are a lot of bloggers that I would love to meet.

2. Did you ever play an innocent game of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”? How old where you?

The closest version to this game that I played was when I was 18 years old. We played a game of strip poker.

3. When did you get your first not so innocent kiss?

I was once a shy girl… I did not have a not so innocent kiss until I was 16 years old.

4. Have you ever awoke with someone who’s name you did not remember?

Thankfully, I can say no to this one.

5. Have you ever let someone else wash you while you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself?

Yes, when I was 8 years old I got chickenpox. I was very ill and could not care for myself. My mom took care of me. I love you Mama.

Bonus: What makes a great first date for you?

Romance. I want to be wined and dined. You do not have to spend a lot of money on me but you also cannot just take me to Applebee’s. Dinner in a nice restaurant and a movie is a great first date.

http://tmituesday.blogspot.com/2007/11/tmi-tuesday-109.html

William and Keisha’s aunt Tee Tee (JT’s sister) picked them up from day care this afternoon to spend time with them. What’s funny? Well, that I complain about not having enough time to myself… almost always preoccupied with the twins, yet when someone does pick them up and give me some quality time for just me or JT and I… I sit around looking silly, wondering when are my children coming home.

*Stares at the clock*

Five minutes later…

I wonder when my children will be home. I miss them.

I started chatting online in the mid-1990s while at Mizzou on some network that I cannot recall the name of. Then I later began to use America Online while in college at Washington University in St. Louis, to hang out in chat rooms about a variety of topics such as teens, wrestling, music, etc. Times have really changed for myself from those days.

I would say that I have grown out the chatting scene, but the popularity of social sites with free dating and free live chat remain high.

I should have went with my first instinct and said no. Recently, someone volunteered me for not just one, but two responsibilities in a group. She basically called me out in front of everyone and said, “Rashaan can do it.” Damnit. Damnit. Damnit. I felt that I had no other choice but to say yes. And that I did. It’s not that I can’t do it… the problem is that I do not want to do it. My mind is so preoccupied as of late and I am getting forgetful again.

I think that this was the first time that someone ever volunteered me for an activity. And it will not happen again.

I am waiting to hear some news this week. I really really really hope to receive a call that I am waiting on.

We went to the library this evening and it was not fun at all. First of all, the weather was gloomy with a light drizzle. Second, many people were gathering for an event. The cast from Ghost Hunters were having a presentation in the public library main hall. I had never seen so many people gather in the library. We did not go see the Ghost Hunters. Our family went on to our regular itinerary… or at least we tried to. All of us seemed very moody, maybe from the weather or from having a long day at work and school. Plus JT and I have a lot of things on our mind these days. Other than picking up two Robert Jordan books, the weekly library experience was uneventful for me.

Other than that, I am fighting a cold. You know how you feel it coming and your body is fighting hard against it, trying not to give in. My colds usually start with a sore throat, then nasal congestion followed by coughing. I am trying to fight it off with vitamins (I bought a new pack of Womens One a Day) and Green Tea (gotta love those antioxidants). It does not help that I have a meeting tomorrow morning and a potluck at work. Ugh. I feel like crap.

When JT and I get married… and I hope one day soon, I know that we will definitely be on a tight budget. Yes, I must face reality and realize that we do not have a spare $10,000 laying around for our dream wedding and reception. I am okay with not having that dream reception, but I figure that I can make a new dream come true with a beautiful reception (one day) that is affordable.

I have been to a handful of wedding receptions and I pay close attention to details. What kind of wedding favors are sitting at the table? Are they edible? Can you tell that someone spent a lot of effort in putting them together and they still look good?

LittleThingsFavors.com is a fantastic website for all of your wedding favor needs… with great prices. The site is very easy to navigate and the design is colorful, but not overwhelming. While browsing Little Things Favors, I paid close attention to the page with inexpensive wedding favors that were all under a $1.00. Now that is cool.

Monday night, while JT and I got William and Keisha ready for bed… William looked up in my face and said, “You amaze me.” I was nearly speechless and …amazed myself that my three year son could articulate such a statement. I paused, looked in his handsome face, thought about all that he has gone through in his three years of life and said… “William, you amaze me.” He then smiled, and we continued with the getting ready for bed routine. We got William and Keisha dressed in their pajamas, walked to their room and placed them in bed. Keisha and William then led us in our prayers.

These are the types of things that my children do that keep me going. I have been extremely stressed for a while now. Sometimes I barely know what day or date it is. We have had a lot of family things going on. My own health is kind of bleh these days. And I really do not care for my job (but of course thankful for the paycheck) nor many of the events that are taking place at my job. Despite all the crap going on, I can count on William and Keisha to bring a smile to my face or make my heart melt with something that say or do.

Where would I be without William and Keisha?

Yesterday, the surgeons discharged William from the hospital. I am so amazed and thankful that William has made much progress since his surgery on Wednesday.

Tuesday evening: Admitted to the hospital for IV fluids at 9 p.m.

Wednesday: Preparation for surgery began at about 8:30 a.m. After recovery, William went to PICU (pediatric intensive care unit). William was in PICU for about 24 hours where he received excellent one on one care. That evening William blew bubbles, which helped keep his lungs clear and reduce the chance of getting acute chest syndrome.

Thursday: That morning, the nurse removed the tube from William’s nose that went down to his stomach. William was placed in a regular room and oxygen was removed from his nose. He later ate two popsicles.

Friday: Dr. T. reported that William’s spleen weighed in at 174 grams which is about three times as big as a normal child’s spleen. I was somewhat speechless yet even more assured that JT and I made the right decision for our son. That afternoon, William got up walking for the first time. Initially, he took baby steps then the steps gradually increased as he walked over to the play room. He sat up on his own for well over 90 minutes. William had clear liquids for the first time on Friday… chicken broth for breakfast and dinner, beef broth for lunch, breakfast shake, apple juice and Sierra Mist.