Last Saturday, William, my husband and I traveled to Jefferson City for the 2013 Missouri Scholastic Championship Chess Tournament. William and Keisha started playing chess last summer and I am so proud of what they have accomplished during their first chess…
A coworker sent this to me today. Seemed to come at just the right time because I had a very challenging day. A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago . They…
Saturday evening, my husband and I watched a very good movie titled, Fireproof. We enjoyed the film a great deal and decided to purchase the book that is in the storyline. The Love Dare is a 40 day Christian devotional…
1. My real name is Rashaan Michelle 2. My favorite dessert is Sara Lee French Cheesecake with strawberries. 3. The Color Purple is my all-time favorite movie. 4. Braveheart and Ghost make me cry everytime I see them. 5. I…
One of the most difficult lessons to learn as a parent is to ignore your children when:
1. Nothing is wrong with them. Example: whining for absolutely no reason.
2. Something is wrong, or at least wrong in their eyes but does not really warrant your attention. Example: it is now 9:40 p.m. and about every 5 to 7 minutes I have heard Keisha yell out crying for the past 40 minutes. There is nothing wrong with her. I guarantee that.
Keisha has been pulling this mess on me for about three weeks and it is working my nerves. The biggest factor that contributes to this nightly nonsense is when I don’t get William and Keisha to bed before 9:00 p.m. I had them on a very strict sleeping routing for the longest time… I once got them in bed no later than 8:30 p.m. every night.
Over the past six months, I have been more leniant about getting them to bed by 8:30 p.m. I cannot blame anyone but myself for this. This week, I have worked toward getting them to bed by 8:45 p.m. I will gradually work toward getting them in bed by 8:30 p.m. again.
So how did I know that nothing was wrong with Keisha? Well most children have different cries for different occassions. This evening, Keisha’s cry was the kind of cry that means, Mama, I just want you to come in my room to hold me while I whine in your ears. No lie. That is exactly what that means. Ignoring Keisha by no means, equates with loving or caring for her any less. The reason for ignoring such behaviour is to remind yourself and the child that you are the parent and they are the child. Whining is not tolerated. Crying for no reason is not tolerated. Crying at 9:40 p.m. just because you want my attention is not tolerated.
Most days, I just want to run in there and hug her to death because I do not want her to think I have abandoned her. Ignoring does not mean abandonment. I have to remind myself at times. This lesson is hard folks… at least it is for me.
Prochaska, DiClemente & Norcross:
1. Precontemplation: A person is unaware of an issue or unwilling to change something. Common questions/statements in this stage: “I don’t think that there is anything wrong with doing this.” “I don’t see what the big deal is?”
2. Contemplation: A person considers the possibility of change. Common questions/statements in this stage: “I don’t feel that I can ever change but I can’t stay like this.” “I wonder if things can ever get better?”
3. Determination: A person is ready and determined to make change. Common questions/statements in this stage: “I can and I will overcome this.” “Changing will be difficult but it is better than staying the same and being miserable.”
4. Action: A person is ready to take actions that will modify identified issue. Common questions/statements in this stage: “I know that self injurous behavior reduces my quality of life. I will exercise or practice meditation instead.” “My contingency plan for self injurious behaviors is journal writing.”
5. Maintenance: A person attempts to maintain new age appropriate coping skills. Common questions/statements in this stage: “Paying attention to my body allows me to stay centered and balanced.” “Only making decisions after taking a minute helps me make better choices.”
6. Relapse: A normal slip up before stable change occurs. “I felt myself becoming dysregulated but I did not practice my skills.” “I allowed myself to become dysregulated and I made a poor choice.”
JT sent this craziness to me:
The Guys Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys’ side of the story. (I must admit, it’s pretty good). We always hear “the rules” from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!
1. en are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. ou don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache/stomach ache that lasts for 2 years is a Problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria ‘s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something o tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
The Collard Greens
An old black man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his yearly collard green garden, but it was always very hard work for him because the ground was hard. His only son, Junebug Jankins III, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Junebugg Jankins III,
I am feeling pretty bad because it look like I won’t be able to plant my collard green garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Daddy Jankins,
Whatever you do, don’t dig up that garden. That’s where I buried the BODIES.
Love Junebugg Jankins III
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same ! day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Daddy Jankins,
You can go ahead and plant the collard greens now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Another meaningless forward? Maybe to some… but not to me.
Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.
He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.
His father working in the yard saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.
Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.
Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father’s fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved.
The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, “But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn’t let go.”
My best friend sent this to me in an email:
When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
and then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart
to open up, God would show you the best in many friends.
One friend is needed when you’re going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you’re going through things with your Mom.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say let’s pray together, another
let’s cry together, another let’s fight together, another let’s walk away together.
One friend will meet your spiritual need, another your shoe fetish, another
your love for movies, another will be with you in your season of confusion, another will be
your clarifier, another the wind beneath your wings.
But whatever their assignment in your life, on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day,
or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym
shoes on and hair pulled back, or to hold you back from
making a complete fool of yourself … those are your best friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman, but for many it’s wrapped up in several…
one from 7th grade, one from high school, several from the college years, a couple from old jobs,
several from temple or church, on some days your mother, on some
days your neighbor, on others your sisters, and on some days your daughters.
So whether they’ve been there 20 minutes or 20 years,
Pass this on to the queens that God has placed in your life to make a difference.