Last night I hoped for a brighter day and when the phone rang at about 6:40am I thought there was nothing but bad news on the other end. Let’s face it; unless it is a wake up call or someone is having a baby, if the phone is ringing before 7am, it can’t be good news. I was wrong this time, I reluctantly answered the phone… a female voice was on the other end, I asked who’s calling and she responded, “Nicole.”

I was completely ecstatic. I hadn’t spoken with Nikki in about a year and I haven’t seen her since July 2004, two months before my children were born. We talked for a little, I lost track of time then realized it was time to get myself ready for work then wake up the twins. She told me about the birth of her daughter and how her two sons were doing. I made sure to tell her how much I missed her and I jotted down her numbers. JT later threw in the male perspective when he bluntly stated, “yeah y’all need to hang out so you can get the hell out of the house.” My feelings weren’t hurt and I actually chuckled internally. In a depressed state, I probably would have started crying and question him repeatedly… but I wasn’t depressed and I saw the truth behind his words.

I think that part of my healing may be getting more involved in what little social life I have. JT suggested hanging out with my friends more. I end up saying the same thing that he says about his friends. They have their own lives… they won’t come… they’re busy. I will have to take what I can get, a little bit at a time. I’m remembering how much I really miss just hanging out. Not necessarily going to the movies, out to eat or to the museum. Just hanging out. No children running wild and throwing blocks. Just hanging out. Being lazy, laying back watching television, eating cheetos and popcorn, gossiping. Just hanging out. I miss that. I need that.

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