Happy Birthday Aunt Dot… the aunt who has been there for me through thick and thin. My second mother. The aunt that I can always count on. The aunt who walked me to the corner store to buy a pickle and chips. The aunt who showed me the true joy of Halloween. The aunt who presented ‘The Wizard of Oz’ to me. The aunt who taught me the right way to eat an ice cream cone. The aunt who introduced me to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’ The aunt who put my makeup on me for prom and for the first time in my life I felt like a queen. The aunt who knew something else was going on at Mama’s birthday dinner when I lost my appetite and had an upset stomach (…a few days later I found out I was pregnant). The aunt who let me cry on her shoulder nonstop when I lost hope during my depression last year.

I love you Dorothy.

I hope my children have the opportunity to know and love their Great Aunt Dot like I have.

While browsing around I decided to update my blogger code:

My *updated blogger code:

B9 d t+ k- s+ u- f i+ o++ x– e– l+ c

What is yours?

This is my new jam… I can listen to it at least twenty times in a row before I get tired of it and move on to the next track. Alicia Keys- Unbreakable. I think I like everything there is to like about the song… the lyrics I can relate to in my own life, well-written, the music is catchy; I’m always bouncing to the beat at my desk at work and of course Alicia sings the song beautifully.

Despite all the things that JT and I go through I feel that our bond and our love is unbreakable.

You may see that I added the song on my radioblog and here are the lyrics:

Clap ya hands everybody, Uh clap ya hands
C’mon, keep it goin… Clap ya hands everybody, clap ya hands everybody
Clap ya… Let’s do it, you ready? C’mon!
We could fight like Ike and Tina. Or give back like Bill and Camelle
Be rich like Oprah, N Stedman or instead struggle like Flo N James Evans
Cuz he! ain’t no different from you n she! ain’t no different from me
So we! got to live out our dreams
Like the people on TV we gotta stay tuned cuz there’s more to see
Unbreakable!
Through the technical difficulties
Unbreakable!
We might have to take a break
But ya’ll know we’ll be back next week
I’m say’n this love is unbreakable…(oooh yeaa, yeaa)
Yea, clap ya hands everybody, clap ya hands everybody
Let’s do it like this C’mon
See we could act out like Will and Jada (Will N Jada)
Or like Kimora N Russell make’n paper (oh yea)
All in the family! Like the Jacksons (Like the Jacksons)
And have enough kids to make a band like Joe and Catherine (yeeaa)
She! ain’t no different from me n he! ain’t no different from you
So we! got to live out our dreams
Like the people on TV we gotta stay tuned cuz there’s more to see
Unbreakable!
Through the technical difficulties

Last night I hoped for a brighter day and when the phone rang at about 6:40am I thought there was nothing but bad news on the other end. Let’s face it; unless it is a wake up call or someone is having a baby, if the phone is ringing before 7am, it can’t be good news. I was wrong this time, I reluctantly answered the phone… a female voice was on the other end, I asked who’s calling and she responded, “Nicole.”

I was completely ecstatic. I hadn’t spoken with Nikki in about a year and I haven’t seen her since July 2004, two months before my children were born. We talked for a little, I lost track of time then realized it was time to get myself ready for work then wake up the twins. She told me about the birth of her daughter and how her two sons were doing. I made sure to tell her how much I missed her and I jotted down her numbers. JT later threw in the male perspective when he bluntly stated, “yeah y’all need to hang out so you can get the hell out of the house.” My feelings weren’t hurt and I actually chuckled internally. In a depressed state, I probably would have started crying and question him repeatedly… but I wasn’t depressed and I saw the truth behind his words.

I think that part of my healing may be getting more involved in what little social life I have. JT suggested hanging out with my friends more. I end up saying the same thing that he says about his friends. They have their own lives… they won’t come… they’re busy. I will have to take what I can get, a little bit at a time. I’m remembering how much I really miss just hanging out. Not necessarily going to the movies, out to eat or to the museum. Just hanging out. No children running wild and throwing blocks. Just hanging out. Being lazy, laying back watching television, eating cheetos and popcorn, gossiping. Just hanging out. I miss that. I need that.

Mondays are so bleh. Draining and tedious but nothing like the emotionally destructive four day weekend so I really shouldn’t be complaining. I slept better than I thought I would thanks to the shower. We didn’t do much talking throughout the day and I guess that is to be expected, but it is still hard to accept. I feel like my honesty has brought us nothing but pain as of late. I hope that in the end that I am wrong. The distance between us is never easy. Never.

We went to Aldi’s after work to pick up some items for home and for a potluck at work next Tuesday. I will be making green bean casserole; the list consisted of nine cans of green beans, three cans of cream of chicken, one can of cream of mushrooms and french onions. The twins were tired of being couped up in the car seats, so JT found it best that we all go inside together instead of him staying in the Jeep with them. With William rolling in around twenty eight pounds, Dad made sure to put him in the cart and Keisha walked along my side while holding my hands. Just as I thought she was extremely curious and nosy (golly gee, who does she get that from? *puzzled*) while walking down the aisle. We didn’t even make it through the entire first aisle before I decided to scoop her up in my arms. Nearly moments after that I plopped her down in the cart behind her brother. She was pretty much cool with that decision because she got to play with all of the items that I threw in the basket with her. I spent about $58 for the family groceries and I stayed within my budget for work at $9.88 (I had $10 for the cause).

The twins ate pot roast and fruit cocktail for dinner, William had lima beans with that and Keisha had sweet potatoes. They had two different vegetables because there was just a wee bit left of each blended vegetable, but not quite enough for both of them to have the same kind. For the second night in a row, they really enjoyed the pot roast and this was quite pleasing considering how picky William began to be with his food about four weeks ago. Since I bought a food chopper at Wal-Mart William and Keisha have ate just about everything that I have placed in front of them… as long as it was blended. Do children go through this thing where they don’t want to eat solids? I don’t know what that is all about. What I do know is that we haven’t bought any baby food in over four weeks and we have saved plenty of dollars of that.

The twins turn fourteen months old today. Another milestone in their young life. Happy fourteen months old sugar babies. I really need to start researching what kind of potty trainers we want for them. And note to self… scan their school pictures and turn in the order form. Over the course of the past four weeks the biggest accomplishment has been mastering walking. I’m so very proud of them. We are still working on the sippy cup… the twins seem like they will go straight to a cup over the sippy cup. Even though they spill most of the liquid on them, William and Keisha tend to drink better out of their baby cups over the sippy cups. The baby cups are oh so cute because they turn colors when cold liquid is in it. I’m not sure if the twins or I find it more fascinating. …And many more my little younglings.

As much as I get tired of hearing the words, it really is hard to believe that a year has gone by. A woman that I see every so often asked how the twins were doing, said the infamous words and then complimented me when she said that I look so young and skinny. In all of the twenty seven years of my life, I never thought I would actually enjoy someone saying that I look skinny. I spent nearly the first twenty years of my life hating every bit of those words and responding with, “No I’m not skinny!! I got meat on these bones,” when in fact I was skinny and the scale didn’t lie when it read a buck oh five. Years later, after dropping two angels and sixty pounds the words, “You look skinny” play beautiful melodies in my ears. I must be crazy for real.

Lastly, I was sorry to hear about the passing of WWE Superstar Eddie Guerrero. I am a huge wrestling fan, so the news hit hard at home. My condolences to his family and friends.

I hope tomorrow brings a brighter day.

Plus two months.

Since I have last written something on here of importance, my children have turn one year old. They turned one on Wednesday, September 14, 2005. I find it very difficult to believe that one-year has passed. Where does the time go? William and Keisha are both walking now, nearly running on occasion. At this very moment, William is slapping his sister and… then I broke up the scuffle. Yeah they fight now. William pushes, head butts (no thanks to Dad), bites and scratches (if the nails are long enough which I try not to let them get long enough for). Keisha does all of the above except for head butts. I guess because William’s cranium is a bit tougher. Note I said tougher and not bigger. Keisha’s head takes after Mama’s huge fivehead but somehow William has mastered the head butt *cough because of Dad.

On Tuesday, August 30, 2005 JT bought the house that we live in. For me, nothing compares to the feeling of living in a house instead of an apartment or town home. JT, the twins and I have a lot more space in the house than previously. The only downfall has been is that is has taken a while to get the home like we want it. JT works two jobs, I work one full time job and oh yeah I’m still depressed.